Implicit memories are memories that are not consciously recalled but still influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
These memories are formed through experiences and are stored in our subconscious mind.
They can impact our daily lives in various ways, often shaping our reactions and decisions without our awareness. This is what we call “Hidden Trauma”. Here are some example stories of how implicit memories can sabotage our performance, peace of mind, and self-esteem.
#1 – ANXIETY
Sarah, a marketing manager, experienced a sudden feeling of anxiety during a team meeting when her colleague interrupted her. This triggered an implicit memory from her childhood when a family member constantly belittled her. The feeling of being undermined resurfaced, causing Sarah to react defensively and struggle to communicate effectively with her colleague. Through therapy, Sarah recognized the connection between the past and her present reactions, allowing her to address her triggers and improve her interactions at work.
The message that Sarah had taken to heart was that she was unworthy of speaking and defective in her thinking. She had something to say and it meant a great deal to her to be heard, but the echoes of these painful memories only caused her to question her contribution as a human being, which created her fearful response.
#2 – FRUSTRATION and ANGER
James, a father of two young children, found himself feeling overwhelmed and irritable whenever his kids made a mess in the house. These moments frustrated him and triggered an angry response that was not reasonable. Through counseling, he recognized that his reaction stemmed from an implicit memory of growing up in a strict household where cleanliness was enforced with harsh consequences.
The message ingrained in James was that he was never good enough, could not do anything right, and was always falling short in the smallest of activities. His sense of worthlessness and imperfection was the filter he saw his life through and was trying to overcome. The cluttered toys on the floor triggered the metaphor and memory of not being good enough, which only created pain and fear in James that he’d never get things right.
#3 – GUILT & SHAME
Emily, a regular churchgoer, experienced a sense of unease and guilt whenever the topic of forgiveness was mentioned during sermons. This triggered an implicit memory of a past relationship where she was deeply hurt and struggled to forgive the person involved.
The message that she was a hopeless sinner and should be ashamed came from both the knowledge that she was finding it hard to forgive, and the fact that her experience had not been recognized as a violation of her worth and dignity. The double whammy of not feeling like she had a right to be angry only fueled her frustration at not being able to forgive. This led to overwhelming shame and guilt.
How Implicit Memories Affect Us
Implicit memories play a significant role in our lives, affecting our relationships, self-perception, and overall well-being. For example, if someone had a negative experience in the past, it may lead to subconscious fear or avoidance of similar situations in the future. These memories can also influence our emotional responses, habits, and beliefs without us realizing their origins. This can cause us to pass unfair judgments against others (including ourselves) and experience confusing, exaggerated emotional responses.
Recognizing and Moving Beyond Implicit Memories
Recognizing implicit memories is the first step towards overcoming their effects. Here are some steps to recognize and move beyond them:
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Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your emotions, reactions, and patterns of behavior. Notice any recurring themes or triggers that may stem from past experiences. How did that moment make you feel? What was the message that triggered your response?
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Therapy: Consider seeking therapy or counseling to explore and address underlying issues related to implicit memories. A trained professional can help you navigate these memories and develop coping strategies.
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If you can’t afford therapy, there are excellent videos on YouTube, and helpful books that will educate you on what you are experiencing and what to do about it. Joining groups such as Circles Journey Groups will help you to identify and rewire your brain and heart as to the real cause of those triggers through coaching and community conversations.
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Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness activities such as meditation or deep breathing exercises to increase awareness of your thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness can help you observe implicit memories without judgment.
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Journaling: Keep a journal to track your thoughts and feelings. Writing can help you identify patterns related to implicit memories and provide clarity on how they affect you.
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Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your experiences and feelings. Opening up to others can offer new perspectives and emotional support as you work through implicit memories.
By recognizing and addressing implicit memories (hidden trauma), we can take steps towards understanding ourselves better and creating positive changes in our lives. It’s a journey of self-discovery and growth that can lead to greater emotional resilience and well-being.