Are YOU the Problem?
In the 1st Video – we viewed, Simon Sinek speaks on “Five Rules to Follow as You Find Your Spark” where he identifies a problem most often overlooked. (You may be the problem!)
In the 2nd Video – “Are you Controlling?” Dr. Les Carter discusses the various ways that people-pleasers may be controlling the world around them and asks the question, “Is this getting in your way with your progress?”
Is People-Pleasing Hurting Your Mental Health? + How to Take Back Your Power – Dr. Caroline Leaf
In this episode I discuss the difference between people-pleasing & peace-making, how to identify if you are a people-pleaser, why it’s dangerous, and how to stop people-pleasing for good.
Do you feel like you always have to say, “Yes?”
Do you feel you have to compromise just to keep the peace?
Do you tend to avoid uncertainty?
Do you have a clear identity of who you are?
Do you lack your own vision?
Video #1 - Simon Sinek
Video #2 - Dr. Les Carter
Dr. Caroline Leaf - BONUS
From Dr. Carter’s video:
Overt Control: Very free with opinions, pushy, forceful, overtly controlling, loud, obnoxious
Mid-level of control:
check your reputation – how do people react with me? What do people say about you?
check your tone of voice – how do you talk with folks? persuasive? calmly? softly? approachable?
what is your listening to telling ratio? what is your awareness of others?
what is the frequency of your anger and frustration? How quickly do you become irritated or annoyed?
are you the kind of person who shows acceptance of other people – or not? What if they are different from you?
are you the kind of person who solicits input on a regular basis?
Control is an illusion! Influence is what we are after when we go into the control mode. Kindness respectfulness, empathy gains true honor and respect (control) than forcing your way.
The topic of our “good days” and “bad days” came up and the question was asked, “Have you heard of the science behind BIORYTHMS?
There is actual science behind our up days and our down days. When experiencing a particularly low day energy-wise, I got curious and looked up my bio rhythm.
Sure enough! I had bottomed out on energy that particular day. Instead of beating myself up for being “lazy” or asking, “What’s wrong with me?” I decided to head those negative thoughts off-at-the-pass by utilizing my handy-dandy Google calendar, and blocked out my low days as “Health Days”.
Now, instead of reacting negatively, I have made room to recharge my batteries without guilt or shame.