Starting with Purpose: The Key to Leading Small Groups
Why the WHY Matters in Bringing People Together
Whether you’re hosting a cozy dinner party or running a structured team project, there’s a simple idea from Simon Sinek’s Start with Why that can make your gathering click: focus on why you’re bringing people together, not just how you’ll make it happen. When everyone gets the purpose behind your group, they’re on the same page, excited to be there, and ready to contribute. Let’s dive into why nailing the WHY is key across different small groups and how it shapes expectations and experiences.
What’s the WHY All About?
The WHY is the heart of your gathering—it’s the reason you’re all coming together. It’s not about the logistics, like the menu for a dinner or the agenda for a meeting (that’s the how). The WHY is the deeper purpose. For a dinner party, it might be creating a warm evening where friends reconnect and share stories. For a work project, it could be pooling everyone’s ideas to solve a problem better than any one person could alone. By starting with a clear WHY, you set the tone so everyone knows what to expect and what they’re working toward.
Examples of Small Groups and Their WHYs
To show how this works, let’s look at a few different small groups and the WHY behind them:
-
Dinner Party (4-8 people): Imagine you’re hosting a small dinner with close friends. Your WHY might be to strengthen friendships through meaningful conversation and shared laughter. By sharing this upfront—maybe with a quick toast like, “I’m so glad we’re here to catch up and make new memories”—you set expectations for a relaxed, heartfelt evening. Guests know it’s not just about the food but about connecting, so they’re more likely to open up and engage.
-
Book Club (6-12 people): A book club’s WHY could be to explore new ideas and perspectives through lively discussions. By stating this at the start—say, “We’re here to dive into this book and learn from each other’s takes”—you signal that the focus is on thoughtful exchange, not just summarizing the plot. This clarity encourages everyone to come prepared to share, shaping a richer experience.
-
Team Brainstorming Session (5-10 people): For a work team tackling a new project, the WHY might be to harness collective creativity to find innovative solutions. Kicking off with, “We’re here to combine our unique perspectives and come up with something game-changing,” sets the stage for collaboration. Team members know they’re expected to bring ideas, not just nod along, which boosts participation.
-
Fully Facilitated Workshop (10-20 people): In a structured workshop, like a strategic planning session, the WHY could be to align on a shared vision for the organization’s future. Starting with, “Today’s about uniting our team to define where we’re headed together,” clarifies that the goal is consensus and direction, not just checking boxes. This helps participants focus on big-picture thinking and stay engaged, even through tough debates.
Why the WHY Matters
Focusing on the WHY does some awesome things for any small group. First, it gets people fired up. When folks understand the purpose—like bonding over dinner or solving a problem as a team—they’re more likely to dive in with enthusiasm. Without a clear WHY, a dinner party might feel like just another meal, or a meeting might drag with no one sure why they’re there.
Second, it keeps things flexible. The how can look different every time—maybe one dinner has a themed menu, or one workshop uses breakout groups while another uses whiteboards. As long as the WHY (like building connection or driving innovation) stays clear, you can adapt the approach to fit the group or situation.
Finally, a strong WHY makes it easy for newcomers to jump in. Whether it’s a new friend at the dinner table or a late joiner to a project, sharing the purpose upfront helps them get the vibe and contribute right away. It’s like giving them a map to join the journey.
How to Share the WHY
Kick off your gathering with a short, clear statement of the WHY. For a dinner party, you might say, “Tonight’s about catching up and making memories together.” For a workshop, try, “We’re here to align our vision and set a bold path forward.” Keep it simple and real. You can even ask folks to share what the purpose means to them—it builds buy-in and connection.
Check in on the WHY during the event, especially if things get off track. A quick reminder, like “Let’s keep focused on sparking new ideas,” can refocus a brainstorming session. This keeps everyone grounded in the purpose, no matter how the event unfolds.
Finally …
Leading any small group—whether it’s a dinner party or a formal workshop—with a clear WHY, inspired by Sinek’s ideas, turns it into something people care about. It sets expectations, shapes the experience, and gets everyone pulling in the same direction. When the purpose is clear, the how can flex to fit the moment, and you’ll still end up with a great time or a killer outcome. So, next time you’re bringing people together, start with why it matters. It’s the spark that makes the whole thing work.